Not just the title of a book waiting on my bedside table to be read, but an actual life goal – to get to the heart of meditation; becoming a more compassionate human being – a kinder more loving wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend.
But not only outwardly more compassionate. Equally, if not more, important, than all this external compassion and kindness is self-compassion.
The whole self-compassion thing is not new to me. I have sought to become more kind, more loving, more forgiving of myself for what seems like a struggle of over 25 years. My perfectionist nature always holding me back; always finding something to pick fault at. Years spent battling anxiety and depression when I do not meet my own ridiculously high expectations or cannot forgive myself for some past mistake; long forgotten by everyone but me.
I have tried in the past to meditate (particularly in my early 20s – pre-kids, husband etc.) and I do know a little about how to go about it. But I am yet to be able to stick with it – to really incorporate it into my days in any kind of consistent way. Meditation is an often pushed aside part of my morning ritual.
I have downloaded apps to try and help me learn to meditate but I find them impersonal and not entirely calming. I have read books; looked on Pinterest and I have some knowledge from having grown up with what some would refer to as a “hippy dippy mother”; but I am yet to work out how to make meditation work for me.
However I am hoping this is about to change.
Starting tomorrow and running for a whole month is The Happiness Plan Group Experience, an online workshop, with accompanying book, hosted by Dr Elise Bialylew. According to Dr. Bialylew, The Happiness Plan is a “scientifically backed roadmap to a happier, healthier life” through meditation and mindfulness. The book states that ‘ten minutes of mindfulness meditation a day, over one month” is enough to “support positive emotions, reduce stress, increase self-compassion and strengthen focus in daily life.”
And who doesn’t want that? Sounds pretty good to me.
And so tomorrow I plan to participate in the online workshop. I’m hoping that having a guided path towards learning to meditate – one in which I am interacting; being held ‘accountable’; and that only takes “10 minutes a day” – helps me to learn how to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into my every day. I am at least willing to try.