Non-Fiction Book Review: Houseplants and Their Fucked Up Thoughts: P.S., They Hate You by Carlyle Christoff, Elisabeth Saake

Publication date: 7th March 2023

Publisher: The Collective Book Studio

Pages: 96

Genre: Non-Fiction – House plants/indoor gardening – Humour

Format read: Hardcover

Discover the cheeky musings of your houseplants in this quirky gift book—a delightful treat for plant enthusiasts who’ve ever felt those leafy side-eyes from their green companions.

Have you ever wondered if your houseplants are silently judging you?

Maybe you think you and your foliated friends are happily cohabitating. Maybe you bought them on a whim and hardly think about them at all. Maybe things are a bit more complicated.

Is it possible that your plants have inner lives that run deeper than their roots? That your fiddle-leaf fig finds you pathetic? That your majesty palm is deeply disdainful? Or that your philodendron has been eyeing your man?

Just because your plants can’t speak doesn’t mean they don’t have a lot to say. Proceed with caution. Once you peek into the tangled minds of these dirt-loving deviants, you might never feel at home with your houseplants again.

Rating: ★★

My thoughts:

Touted as delightful and humorous with so many good reviews, as a plant lover I had to purchase this book. Expecting it to be a cute little ‘gift’ book that I would keep on my shelves and smile at when I saw it, I was disappointed to find that neither was it delightful or humorous. In fact, it was quite mean spirited in places and I was immediately turned off it.

Note to the authors: you can be humorous without calling people stupid or fat.

Even at only 96 pages, it was a much quicker read than I expected it to be. I think it took me about 10 minutes from start to finish, given that there are hardly any words on each page. A sentence or two, what is meant to be a jokey watering/location guide, a plant star sign and an insult and that’s about it. The one redeeming feature is the illustrations of the plants – they are cute, like you would find in a digital sticker pack.

This book had so much potential. Suffice to say, it won’t be going on my shelf and will most likely end up being donated.